For many years, I “acted” like I had it all together. I didn’t even know how deeply ingrained it had become. I’m sure others around me saw it, but no one said anything. Until one day, a psychic reader told me in our session, “The image that’s coming up is one of Queen Elizabeth.” Oh my. Yes, royal but…Queen Elizabeth? Embarrassed and surprised, I knew in that moment something within me had to change or I would be alone and single forever.
As a very independent woman, I did very well. I made over $100,000 per year in the software world. I earned sales awards and trips to Hawaii as recognition. I owned two homes by age 38. I had tons of friends, and considered myself quite successful, however, their was still something missing in my life. Something still went unfulfilled. But what?
What was missing was someone to share my life with – the ups and the downs, the joys, the travel, the fun, intimacy and more. Life in general. I wanted off the darn dating market. I was exhausted.
Another reason I became so stinkin’ independent was that I didn’t think I could rely on a man. They disappeared so many times and left without notice that the only person I could depend on was myself. I didn’t think their was such a thing as a “great man.”
When I was a child, my mom called me her stubborn kid. If I didn’t want to eat my eggs, I would sit at the table until they turned black. I was NOT going to eat those and no punishment or anything she could say or do could make me eat those nasty things (today, I love eggs and we eat them almost every day – funny enough.)
My point is, I had to slowly but surely learn to let my guard down and let my now current husband support me, help me and contribute to me. I had to let his love in as a symbol and expression of how much he cares about me, which also lets trust between us arise naturally. It wasn’t easy and over time, I started to learn that he does have my best interest at heart, and it feels incredibly reassuring.
At times, I am moved to tears when he treats me to really nice things like first class train tickets to Paris, four star hotels in Austria, buys me a MacBook Air, or spends $500+ on lingerie at a boutique in Zurich. He does this because he loves me and expects nothing in return, well..he expects his lady to be happier!
I must say, this life is so much better than being stubborn, alone and independent. I had no idea how good life really can be and how much love I can accept and receive when I stop acting like I have it all together!!
A man client said the other day, “Men appreciate when women can share what they are ashamed of. It actually makes us feel connected to you, and it’s okay.”
Would you like to bring your walls down a bit more and stop keeping men at arms length? If you did, what else could be possible?
(Suzanne Muller – Author of Loveable & CEO of Happy Living Forever – Dating made simple, Dating & Love Life Coach, www.happylivingforever.com)